We Are Awesome.

Because I feel I need to do better and be better all the time. I don't believe I am the only one who strives for perfection. But should that word even exists?



 Yes, it should because there has only been one person on earth to ever be perfect and we are commanded to follow in His foot steps. To become like him.



 I get frustrated with my self almost daily because that is not necessarily possible. we are human. I get mad for not being on top of everything.I have some disfunction in my brain that I have to be good at it all, I have to be on time, I need to know things,



No mistakes are allowed, perfection is the key to happiness. Is what I like to tell my self. BUT THAT IS SO FALSE!



We get down on our selves when we are not the Women we strive to be. But that does not mean we are <b>not</b> of value!



<b>But I forget on a daily basis as do others, that we did not come here to be perfect, but to be perfected.</b> We are human, we are mortal and we will make mistakes. Just because we do make mistakes and we don't always have our crap together does not mean we have no value. I guess it could mean we have more value because we are growing and we are learning and we are becoming more!



I hope this video finds some enlightenment for those like me who need a reminder every once in a while that even with our mistakes we are Awesome.

Go to mission Prep.

If you are at all considering serving a mission, I STRONGLY advise you to go to mission prep. It is seriously what has saved my life. It seems like every week I get stuck in a rut, cant seem to give my self the motivation and end up watching every stinking episode of One Upon A Time. Why cant I find the motivation? I dont know maybe its because I am just lazy? Maybe I keep finding dumb excuses like "I wont get to watch Once Upon A Time when I am gone" or maybe its that little guy who is actually not so little, and he is just trying really hard to make everything else sound better than scripture/PMG study. So anyhow... It seems I get there feeling pretty dang often. Then I go to mission prep on Sunday evenings. I LOVE EVERY MOMENT OF IT. I wish I was in mission prep 24/7! I gives me so much fire to start studying better and do actually do the work I should be doing! But then after monday It seems I fall back into my nasty habits. sometimes I can really suck it up and start up my studies again, But sometimes I choose Once Upon A Time. Its not a Horrible choice, and I dont regret starting it up because its so good and I love it haha! But I could for sure watch it less than I have been and use more of that time to study, learn spanish, do all those sorts of things! So If you are ever feeling stuck and unmotivated find a mission prep class. ANY mission prep class and you will feel the fire again!

I laughed at this picture for a few minutes, Its a good one! haha

Happy Sunday

My friend is back from BYU hawaii. This makes me very happy. Happy day. also Elder Jake Mecham and I talked a little over email tonight that is also happy. also its is my Mommas birthday. I love my momma! Happy Sunday

Temple Temple Temple

Wow Temple is such an Incredible place. it is a castle! EVERYONE NEEDS TO SET A GOAL TO PREPARE YOUR SELF FOR THE TEMPLE! It is so worth every moment. I will admit I was really really nervous to go. Crazy experience I had as my momma an I were driving to the temple, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. I wanted to puke and I wanted to turn around and I didnt want to go in. I just was so nervous, what if I wasn't worthy or what if I just wasn't ready!I had done all i needed to do, I had everything with my bishop clear to go, I honestly had no reason I shouldn't go but I just wanted to puke while driving there! But the moment we drive into the temple grounds all my bad feelings went away! I felt incredible! My body felt brand new and I was excited! I dont know what you think, but I think that was lucifer trying to keep me away from the things I know was the best thing I could ever do! That right there, even before we entered the temple was such a strong experience I KNOW the Lord is on my side and will protect me! Actually entering the temple. It is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It was just such a cool thing, receiving the blessing of the temple. Everyone it is so worth every single sacrifice you feel you are giving up. Nothing has been better. I love this church. Everyone needs to know about The true church! So If you dont know about it go look for the missionaries!

Missin Call, and More learning

Like I said before, God's timing is perfect. So I got my mission papers turned in Sunday March 9th, and calls are assigned on fridays, When I texted my Bishop Saturday afternoon (march 15th) he told me that it had NOT been assigned yet. I was really sad. I had worked so hard and everything was so smooth! the only thing I seemed to do was not get my papers in.

 Well I did the best thing I could think of and said a prayer. Because I finally understood that Heavenly Father will give you everything you need in the best time. He will place people in your life that will change EVERY single way you think, they will change the image you have of your self. He will give you opportunities to make you the best possible, he will give you opportunities to choose what you want your future to end up as. Heavenly Father will always know what is best for us. Even when the situation seems so SUCKY. However you may learn why it had to happen later and It will only make you better.

 I was very sad when I found out my call did not come. I understand that Heavenly Father is the best clock and we just need to trust in Him. Let Him take the wheel when situations are no longer in control. So I did the hardest thing ever. I decided to be PATIENT and wait. I knew Heavenly Father would give me my call when I was ready, and when the people I will be serving are ready for me.

 That next Wednesday (March 19th) I was at work and I just had the strange feeling to text the Dance company I am on and tell them I would be late. ok strange... So I did! then I ran to my Parents house to pick up a few things, I had the feeling to just wait for the mail. That would mean I would be at least an hour late to my rehearsal, but I decided to wait. "My call had not been assigned, there was NO WAY it would come today" was all i could think.  it just was not a possibility. My mom even promised my Little brother if my call came he could open his birthday present. (a whole week early) As I sat on our living room couch, I just knew it wasn't going to come. But there was that teeny tiny little spark of hope.

 When the mail man arrived, my mom watched as he put our mail in the mailbox, I couldn't look. I seriously felt sick. when she said "theres a big white envelope!" I though she was pulling my strings. "its probably an insurance envelope, the mailman would have walked your call to the door, or maybe even look excited. he just looks grumpy." I was so heart broken, I knew it wasn't going to come. As I did the "Charlie Brown" sad walk out to the mail, I opened the box. IT WAS MY FREAKING CALL! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

 So lucky for conner he got to open his birthday present a week early! haha

 Heavenly Father knew I needed this. It had been a hard week, I had just said goodbye to one of my closets friends for his mission. Work was a drag, and dance was making my mind explode. I was with my traveling company this upcoming weekend and that always makes me anxious, If I hadn't received my call when I did I may have exploded.

 I am so incredibly excited to say I will be serving the people in the Oklahoma, Oklahoma City Spanish Speaking Mission. I report to the Mexico MTC July 23rd. The second I read Oklahoma I really could not think of a more perfect place. Nothing has felt more right then that moment right there reading my mission call.

This Gospel has become something so special to me this year, I feel like I have such a better understanding of the truth, I know it is true! Everyone needs to know the truth! I can not wait to serve, and I can not wait to teach the Spanish speaking people of Oklahoma!

 Seriously I have the best call in the world. Heavenly Father, thank you for teaching me patience, I still have a lot to work on, but I finally Understand that you control all timing, you will give me opportunities to grow, and you will place people in my life who will make me so much better.

What an incredible Journey I am about to go on! I can not wait! P.S. Yes that is a picture of Kira and I with Elder L. Tom Perry!

Dear World.

Dear World, I have been dancing for 16 years, everyday I have looked at myself in a mirror all day wearing nothing but a leotard, and pink tights. If you think I had a great perspective of my body image you are sadly mistaken. I would look in that mirror and spend all day critiquing every single inch of my body.  I would look at the images of dancers online, thinking "all I want is to look like them" all I wanted was skinny long legs, a six pack, thin arms, and a back that was created by the athletic gods.

Not a very good self perspective to have when what you do everyday IS watch your self in a mirror.

World, I hated my self, I hated my body, I hated just about everything I saw.

I do however know I was blessed with a  hardworking mind. I knew if I wanted to make any mark in the dance world, I would need to show them it is NOT about my body type, it IS all about my talent.

The dance world is so critical about body image. I never though I would become anything. until last year, we went to a dance convention that was new to Utah, "Hollywood Vibe". Usually I would go to dance conventions and be pretty familiar with the teachers, they would know what studios were good, and what students were "favorites" but this one was different, brand spankin new convention, no one had connections yet.

After a hard weekend of classes competition and scholarship auditions, I received the highest award you could get. out of 300 people, I was the ONE person who was picked! Me. The girl who does not have a dancers body. The girl who is not skinny, the girl who doesn't have flexibility to save her life! I was the one person in the whole convention who was honored to be pick for the title.

Because I was not dancing in-front of a mirror, I could not feel self conscious, I couldn't look at my self and say "of that looks really bad"  I didn't have a choice to fix my hair, make up or to see if what I was wearing made me look like a chunk. I had my self, and my dancing. I had no choice but to be completely 100% me! The faculty had to look at what they were given and they chose ME in my most vulnerable form.

That night was the night I learned I should love my self for not only who I am but WHAT I am. I am Sidney, I am a dancer, I have a healthy body that works perfectly great. I should like my self.

But SERIOUSLY why are we hating our self?!

God gave you the most incredible gift you will ever receive! Think about if your parents gave you a brand new incredible car, are you going to hate it and trash it? or are you going to love it, keep it clean and take care of it?

Self love is something I believe we all need to improve on. each one of us is unique, we all have qualities that make us WHO we are and WHAT we are.

My roomate and great great friend posted this on Facebook the other day.

" I am TIRED of seeing the photos of women before make up and after make up where they don't even look like the same person. As a certified make up artist and licensed hairstylist I still believe that every person is so beautiful completely BARE. Yes it is fine to do your hair and have fun with it to express yourself and it's fine to enhance your wonderful face with natural simple make up but to completely glorify changing the way you look and thinking you are not good enough with out all that gooey crap slathered on your face is totally wrong. You were created by the most perfect being and he made you wonderful just like you are. Love yourself!" 

I absolutely love that she said that. You WERE created by the most perfect being. you were created in his image. God gave you this body, so you can become the best you possible.

This week I am seriously going to work on loving myself. It is not easy for me, it is actually a really big challenge for most of us! but why would we not love our self? to live with this gift and to hate it our who live seems like a waste! love your self, and you will find others will love you more as well!

 yes this is what I looked like when I was awarded my title. 

Be Patient.

Well Patient isn't on this list, But it is for sure a BIG thing heavenly father is trying to teach me. I feel like the last few months Heavenly Father has been putting me in situations that require me to trust His timing. I HATE IT. its actually really good to learn... but has been very difficult for me. For those who don't know me very well, I am not patient. I do not like to wait for things. I am that person if they want something, I will do what ever it takes to get that thing and I really almost always do. For example, My drivers license. I had done drivers Ed. online in a few short days. I had taken all the tests and passed with flying colors. All I had to do was go to the DMV, take a picture, and it was mine! But because I wanted it SO bad, I had finished all the work 5 months before my 16th Birthday. I just had to sit and wait for June 27th so I could "legally" drive my self around. Those 5 months I thought I would DIE. well the reason I am ranting on about Heavenly Fathers timing now is because of my mission papers. I decided "officially" to go on a mission in November. I dont turn 19 until June 27th. But Because I just am always so impatient I had my papers finished, Doctors forms filled out, and all the other shenanigans done before christmas. Bad news for me, my bishop told me I could turn my papers in February 15th be cause my availability. Great I can wait that long. False, I went crazy. I just wanted them in. But I lasted. Once February 15th came, My bishop informed me that it was not the original 150 days before your availability date, but 120 days. Yes I indeed was bummed out. Then Finally the time had come! I can turn them in now! I meet with the bishop, everything is great! he says " Meet with the stake president on Tuesday, you hopefully will have a call by the following week!" I felt like I had been waiting SO long to hear that! Finally I could get this all in, and receive my calling! I have no idea where I am going, but my heart yearns to love and care for the people. So Tuesday is today! I go to the stake president office, look at the sheet and sign in. 1 councilor came out, "I am so sorry, the stake president will be out of town until this weekend. come back on sunday and we will have it all done for you! I can name very few times where I have felt so crushed. All I want is to love those people, and to pray for them and to become their friend! Was that TOO much to ask? But I have to understand that He is really testing me, He is trying to teach me Patients because I will %100 be in need of that blessing on my mission as well as the rest of my life, when I am married and have little Humans of my own running around. Lessons are hard, as small as this waiting thing goes, It is a very big deal and Test for me. Hopefully I can understand Patience soon so I dont need to be tested on it so often! \ Heavenly Father has a plan, It is invisible to us now, and very difficult to understand. But if you are Sincerely doing your best to live as an "example of the believers" live then I know Heavenly Father will only lead you to eternal happiness! Have a good evening everyone, i hope you can look at your trials and find hope!