Dear World.

Dear World, I have been dancing for 16 years, everyday I have looked at myself in a mirror all day wearing nothing but a leotard, and pink tights. If you think I had a great perspective of my body image you are sadly mistaken. I would look in that mirror and spend all day critiquing every single inch of my body.  I would look at the images of dancers online, thinking "all I want is to look like them" all I wanted was skinny long legs, a six pack, thin arms, and a back that was created by the athletic gods.

Not a very good self perspective to have when what you do everyday IS watch your self in a mirror.

World, I hated my self, I hated my body, I hated just about everything I saw.

I do however know I was blessed with a  hardworking mind. I knew if I wanted to make any mark in the dance world, I would need to show them it is NOT about my body type, it IS all about my talent.

The dance world is so critical about body image. I never though I would become anything. until last year, we went to a dance convention that was new to Utah, "Hollywood Vibe". Usually I would go to dance conventions and be pretty familiar with the teachers, they would know what studios were good, and what students were "favorites" but this one was different, brand spankin new convention, no one had connections yet.

After a hard weekend of classes competition and scholarship auditions, I received the highest award you could get. out of 300 people, I was the ONE person who was picked! Me. The girl who does not have a dancers body. The girl who is not skinny, the girl who doesn't have flexibility to save her life! I was the one person in the whole convention who was honored to be pick for the title.

Because I was not dancing in-front of a mirror, I could not feel self conscious, I couldn't look at my self and say "of that looks really bad"  I didn't have a choice to fix my hair, make up or to see if what I was wearing made me look like a chunk. I had my self, and my dancing. I had no choice but to be completely 100% me! The faculty had to look at what they were given and they chose ME in my most vulnerable form.

That night was the night I learned I should love my self for not only who I am but WHAT I am. I am Sidney, I am a dancer, I have a healthy body that works perfectly great. I should like my self.

But SERIOUSLY why are we hating our self?!

God gave you the most incredible gift you will ever receive! Think about if your parents gave you a brand new incredible car, are you going to hate it and trash it? or are you going to love it, keep it clean and take care of it?

Self love is something I believe we all need to improve on. each one of us is unique, we all have qualities that make us WHO we are and WHAT we are.

My roomate and great great friend posted this on Facebook the other day.

" I am TIRED of seeing the photos of women before make up and after make up where they don't even look like the same person. As a certified make up artist and licensed hairstylist I still believe that every person is so beautiful completely BARE. Yes it is fine to do your hair and have fun with it to express yourself and it's fine to enhance your wonderful face with natural simple make up but to completely glorify changing the way you look and thinking you are not good enough with out all that gooey crap slathered on your face is totally wrong. You were created by the most perfect being and he made you wonderful just like you are. Love yourself!" 

I absolutely love that she said that. You WERE created by the most perfect being. you were created in his image. God gave you this body, so you can become the best you possible.

This week I am seriously going to work on loving myself. It is not easy for me, it is actually a really big challenge for most of us! but why would we not love our self? to live with this gift and to hate it our who live seems like a waste! love your self, and you will find others will love you more as well!

 yes this is what I looked like when I was awarded my title.